i am back!!!! =D

hello all!!!
hrmm.. i have to apologize for my overly sensitive and overly negative energy from my last post
but i'm officially back now!!!
and suddenly felt extremely great!!!!!
wow.. i never felt so great for a month or so i think?
felt so optimistic like my old self! =)
and i have a special friend to thank for...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! 
LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH AH!!!! =D

and here is a very honest confession for my classmates
i don't know whether they will read this or not..
and i have to admit that i don't have the guts to say this face to face to them.. so here goes

classmates, i do love hanging out with you guys! i really do... coz you guys are the only ones who i meet everyday in school!! with the number of pupils in the class with a year and a half being together... we are a family right?? not all of you are my close friends.. and they say our friendship is just a short term friendships...true! coz we will never know what will happen in the future!! but even do so... i don't want my memories with you guys containing hatred or even the slightest unpleasant feeling for me to have towards you guys...here goes.. lately... i dislike you guys a lot!! i mean A LOT! i have no idea why... but maybe it's because i felt you guys in some ways are selfish? maybe? i don't know... not all of you.. i don't know how to explain this clearly.. but.. somehow the way you guys talk.. as if i owe you a million bucks in hokkien or as if i'm wasting your time when I'm talking to you?

all these negativity happens right after trial.. i am ok with it now.. but after trial, results and exam has become a very sensitive issue to me.. and the causes of all these were the look in the eyes.. not the words that had spoken...i could never forget those looks... never..

and to some classmate who knew me since form 1.... i am indeed not a great person... but i am still trying to change.. and trying to work out our friendship... that's why i need your honesty!! i need to know the truth.. if you hate me.. say it in front of me!!!! but after that... let's just be friends.. and we seriously will laughed about it in the future!! it's not easy! but i am willing to try!! life's too short!! seriously! who knows? *touch wood* if something happens to me... i don't wanna regret this =(

AND i wanna apologize.. my temper and behavior is not in a right place recently... i am very very sorry if i offended or even annoyed you..

saying all these doesn't mean that i am saying myself a very great person or even everything i do is correct..
and i am very very weak in explaining myself very well due to my lacking of language skills =_=
well that's it.. i have no idea what i'm doing now. and i don't know whether i am explaining correctly. so... forgive me!