矛盾的白痴

有些事情，不是说我们希望就会得逞，我希望我的朋友永远都不要忘记我，这是没有可能的事情。我曾经为了朋友而付出过代价，你问我当时付出太多是否后悔，我会说否，因为当时的我觉得值得的，你问我现在是否因为当时的付出而后悔，我答案还是一样，没有后悔，因为我曾经付出过真心，曾经因为“义气”两个字找寻到了信任，笑容，欢乐，回忆，还有很多很多啦～

根据上一次的文章。。我觉得现在的我很矛盾，我现在很想再一次付出真心，但会变成他人觉得虚伪的面具吗？还是再次的，是我想太多了？可能吧，因为我讲过很多次了，我是个太会胡思乱想的人，有时候我会把一些小小的事情看得太过严重，夸大到不能在夸大，但有些事情，我看得那么重，因为我很在意我是否是一个值得信任的朋友，很希望你亲口告诉我讲真相。

我必先警惕各位，现在的我，向着你微笑，不一定是来自真心的微笑，因为现在的我真的不知道，到底我是真心还是虚伪的，是真的骗人的技术太厉害了，所以连自己也骗掉，自己也察觉不到，我讲了很多废话，您可以再次不用管我所说的话，我现在真的自己讲社么也不知道。总而言之，大家请提防我。

random

a lot of people post their status on facebook as usual

but this few days

most of them had describe what i wish to say

what i wanna say

this is what i wanna say

my dear friends,

this few weeks is exam week

i know you guys are busy studying and all

i can tell myself that everyone is working hard

don't think too much

but as time flows

i can really felt that you guys don't really wanna talk much anymore with me

you may say waliao hui sing thinking too much already la

maybe

or maybe is it i'm the one don't wanna talk much?

but actually i can feel that i tried to talk with you guys

but you guys doesn't seem bother

i can lie to myself that maybe she or he didn't heard me well

ok fine~ talk next time

but how long can i lie to myself like this?

ok, XX and XX i really wanna know

what happened to us??? 

you know the older post about the person ignoring me is actually you guys

i just wanna know what happened to us

i asked you are you ignoring me you said bo a,

and the conversation after that,you only replied me one or two words,

how do you expect me to believe that you aren't ignoring me? 

coz this is not us...

last time we can talk every crap we want but now i can hardly talk to you guys much

i really tried to start talking but somehow i knew that even i tried

you won't bother anymore

just tell me

what's the problem? is it me?? if i'm the problem tell me!

just tell me can you??

i asked you guys i changed liao hor??

but you guys say no a or don't know leh

what do you think i felt?

thinking too much you may say

maybe

i don't know

now i just felt like i wanna find a person to talk with 

i have to rethink should i say it a not

would it be fake if even i tell?

am i wearing a mask in front of my friends that maybe myself didn't even realize? 

i'm actually really confuse now

am i actually wearing a mask this pass few years? 

am i?? am i lying to myself and you guys for so many years already??

F*Cking shit!! i hate all this crap!!!!!!

morning! XD

hey peeps! this would be my first post to write in the morning
now is 6.01am, i'm about to go to school in another half an hour~ Xp
today is physic...and wish me luck!! X)
coz me and physic...never linked before and don't think i can even though i want to>
so...PHYSIC!!! please accept my love!
i know you are jealous because i said to BIOLOGY before
so you have a broken and imbalanced heart...T.T sorry to break your heart...
OMG!!>
but the main point i wanna say is..
sometimes, things that you just knew
just have to keep it in heart
there is no need to tell
so just sealed your mouth
be happy for it and just make some wishes~
just wish upon a star if you saw one..=)
bye guys!!! happy studying/ exam-ing~ =DD

21.9.2011

hey peeps!
i shouldn't update my during this time of the week coz trial is not over yet
but who cares!! XDD
tomorrow is bio and wish me a lot of luck!
but now i'm getting really emotional
these few days that feeling came back again
as in, a really good friend can be your friend for today and being a stranger to you the other day
for sure! i hate that feeling!
just because of this feeling bothered me for almost a week now
i can't even concentrate in my studies...T.T
i mean, if you guys do hate me or even just felt that i shouldn't do these or that
just tell it to me face
i am willing to change!
please don't just ignore me or avoiding me
even though i am that kind of a person who likes to avoid things
i mean, ignoring people or the person being ignored doesn't feel comfortable about this you know?
haiz..i really mean it, if i have done something wrong just tell me
seriously stop ignoring me
ps~ maybe i'm just being paranoid again
well~ this is me, thinking too much again and again all the time
please excuse my weird personalities =)
fa xie wan bi!

random~

hey peeps~ 

my last update said that i won't be updating my blog until my trial is over

i guess i lied~~~XDD

this post is going to be boring ~

so i guess please leave if you're already in boredom~

totally random~

i'm proud to tell you guys~

today is the first day i ride my car all by myself alone!

XDD

even though it's just a really short distance drive

but hey!! 

i survived!! i'm still alive!!!breathing here~~ 

breath in in out out~~ XDD

thanks to god right??

LOL..anyways~

goodluck with your trials guys!!

kick exam asses!!! ADD OIL!!

FIGHTING A~~~

by the way just to give you guys a heads up~

remember this when you're in a pek chek mode~

服出一点点的努力，获得一点点的成就感，就要记得笑喔！=)

ps~~ my chinese sucks~~ so >

sorry for the poor way to express what i wanna say.

take it easy guys !! bye bye~~ 

trial O.o

hey peeps!!
trial is coming up soon
so i think this is the last post before the trial
so, recently, tried to study
yes i did studied a little
but i suddenly felt that i can't really stay focus
but still i'll try my best
by the way
i seriously love the library!! XD
and thanks to a kid
suddenly thought a little bit more further to my future
normally everyone will have plan A and Plan B in their life especially after they graduate
which they wanna be, if plan A not working, here comes plan B
but for so long now, i'm lost
today, i suddenly had the new direction
so...plan A ZOOLOGIST!!
love animals~~ hate creepy crawlies.>
plan B..a psychologist
YES..its gonna be really tough
but someone special inspired me AKA the kid=0
thanks kid =)
you really are my inspiration for my plan B
thanks! =)